People have asked me whether I am still pursuing the Solitary path. I am, indeed.
I just have not done so well with pursuing this journal!
I have settled into a rhythm of daily life. Work and pray. A lot of quiet time. A little pleasure. There is nothing severe about my rule of life, nothing dramatic. It feels gentle. Serene. I am content.
At the moment, I am not pursuing the "official" status with the Diocese of New York. I may yet do that. But right now is not the time. The time may yet come. Who knows what the future will bring?
My life, for the most part, is very still. But not stagnant. I think this stillness is a difference between youth and age. Younger people speak of growing. Reaching for something: more self-improvement, more experiences, more knowledge, more happiness, more accomplishment. As I grow older, I find that I no longer feel that push toward outward expansion. My growth is inward. I feel my life centering, drawing in. Becoming simpler. Instead of more, I want less: less activity, fewer things, fewer people, less movement, less distraction, less noise.
Of course there are challenges. Simplicity doesn't happen on its own. I may not want distractions, but they come anyway. I try to face them, handle them, dismiss them... and get back to the quiet.
And being content does not mean that I have no need to tend to my spirituality. Again, contentment is not stagnant. It is the contentment of a gardener, mindful of the activity of the Holy One.
So that's where I am, here and now.
I just have not done so well with pursuing this journal!
I have settled into a rhythm of daily life. Work and pray. A lot of quiet time. A little pleasure. There is nothing severe about my rule of life, nothing dramatic. It feels gentle. Serene. I am content.
At the moment, I am not pursuing the "official" status with the Diocese of New York. I may yet do that. But right now is not the time. The time may yet come. Who knows what the future will bring?
My life, for the most part, is very still. But not stagnant. I think this stillness is a difference between youth and age. Younger people speak of growing. Reaching for something: more self-improvement, more experiences, more knowledge, more happiness, more accomplishment. As I grow older, I find that I no longer feel that push toward outward expansion. My growth is inward. I feel my life centering, drawing in. Becoming simpler. Instead of more, I want less: less activity, fewer things, fewer people, less movement, less distraction, less noise.
Of course there are challenges. Simplicity doesn't happen on its own. I may not want distractions, but they come anyway. I try to face them, handle them, dismiss them... and get back to the quiet.
And being content does not mean that I have no need to tend to my spirituality. Again, contentment is not stagnant. It is the contentment of a gardener, mindful of the activity of the Holy One.
So that's where I am, here and now.
- Mood:
content

Comments
Every blessing to you.
with love
Sharon xx
Peace,
Bubba
xhenry
http://www.soulmerlin-borderlines.blogsp
--Andy
I stumbled on your blog about an hour ago and it is spiritual uplifting.
Well, like you I am on a quest. I am a Diocesan seminarian; in constant wrestling with God, indeed. So, I must confess that there were lots of halted steps I made. Yet God is patient with me.
Anyway there is something I would like to share to you that I believe you're familiar with: I thought I went to the ocean, took off all my clothes, walked across the beach, put my toes in the water, walked into the water until it was up my ankles, then my legs, then my chest, then my neck. Then I started swimming. I even tried swimming under water. I came back out on the beach, put my clothes back on… and I said to some people there: Water? What water?
I once read a Jewish proverb that goes like this: “The last thing a fish sees is the water.” Now really! Nor can the bird see the air they live in. but depriving them of it…then see how they flounder.
Don’t you know that we are like fish and birds much of our lives and only become aware of water and air, once we are deprived of them?
Perhaps this is Gods somewhat drastic way of revealing himself; out of consideration for our immaturity, he reveals himself negative. The truth is, we do not perceive His presence when all us going well, but we shudder when He us not there or falls silent.