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Still here, and still still

  • Jul. 30th, 2009 at 1:06 PM
carmel
People have asked me whether I am still pursuing the Solitary path. I am, indeed.

I just have not done so well with pursuing this journal!

I have settled into a rhythm of daily life. Work and pray. A lot of quiet time. A little pleasure. There is nothing severe about my rule of life, nothing dramatic. It feels gentle. Serene. I am content.

At the moment, I am not pursuing the "official" status with the Diocese of New York. I may yet do that. But right now is not the time. The time may yet come. Who knows what the future will bring?

My life, for the most part, is very still. But not stagnant. I think this stillness is a difference between youth and age. Younger people speak of growing. Reaching for something: more self-improvement, more experiences, more knowledge, more happiness, more accomplishment. As I grow older, I find that I no longer feel that push toward outward expansion. My growth is inward. I feel my life centering, drawing in. Becoming simpler. Instead of more, I want less: less activity, fewer things, fewer people, less movement, less distraction, less noise.

Of course there are challenges. Simplicity doesn't happen on its own. I may not want distractions, but they come anyway. I try to face them, handle them, dismiss them... and get back to the quiet.

And being content does not mean that I have no need to tend to my spirituality. Again, contentment is not stagnant. It is the contentment of a gardener, mindful of the activity of the Holy One.

So that's where I am, here and now.

Comments

( 12 comments — Leave a comment )
[info]bobby1933 wrote:
Jul. 30th, 2009 10:20 pm (UTC)
It is good to read your post again!!! I stsrted reading you during the year you were not posting. I have benefitted intellectually and expect to benefit spiritually as well. Thank you.
[info]elevengirl wrote:
Jul. 30th, 2009 11:02 pm (UTC)
It's good to hear from you!
[info]sharon_xx wrote:
Aug. 6th, 2009 10:16 pm (UTC)
I'm so glad to read this update and that all is going well. I too started reading during your 'lean' posting period and have gained alot of insight from doing so.

Every blessing to you.

with love

Sharon xx
[info]oitoite wrote:
Oct. 22nd, 2009 12:22 pm (UTC)
I found your site from googling "solitary bird". Interesting.
[info]absynthedrinker wrote:
Jan. 25th, 2010 11:02 pm (UTC)
I am sorry I will not know you, I hope you've found your vocation and a re happy,

Peace,
Bubba
(Anonymous) wrote:
May. 3rd, 2010 04:43 am (UTC)
the vocation of being still and knowing God
I have only met you through your journal (and I don't know if it is still current.) But I would both thank you and encourage you to continue your quest as the solitary bird whose gaze is turn to the One who dwells in our solitude. I think each of us has that urge, that call, that desire deep within, to turn from what is passing to seek to know better that One. But so often we allow it to be overwhelmed by the din of days and our concerns for what is really unimportant. Thank you for your journal and your search. May He who begins this work as a seed of His own life, bring it to completion. And my He touch others and call them to Himself is this way. Regards and blessings, Peter, an unknown brother in Him.
(Anonymous) wrote:
Jun. 15th, 2010 12:56 pm (UTC)
Beautiful - I do hope you post again soon and update on yourself

xhenry

http://www.soulmerlin-borderlines.blogspot.com
(Anonymous) wrote:
Jul. 14th, 2010 07:33 pm (UTC)
hello
I do not have an L.J., but I wanted to let you know that I went back and read through all of your posts and REALLY enjoyed them. I, too, was deeply moved by "Infinity of Little Hours," and "Into Great Silence." I am also a musician, and most at home (or least alone) when I am alone. Your posts are very inspiring. I hope you are doing well with your rule and way of life. God Bless,
--Andy
[info]sjebhi.wordpress.com wrote:
Sep. 14th, 2010 12:34 pm (UTC)
Ave Maria!
Hi.

I stumbled on your blog about an hour ago and it is spiritual uplifting.

Well, like you I am on a quest. I am a Diocesan seminarian; in constant wrestling with God, indeed. So, I must confess that there were lots of halted steps I made. Yet God is patient with me.

Anyway there is something I would like to share to you that I believe you're familiar with: I thought I went to the ocean, took off all my clothes, walked across the beach, put my toes in the water, walked into the water until it was up my ankles, then my legs, then my chest, then my neck. Then I started swimming. I even tried swimming under water. I came back out on the beach, put my clothes back on… and I said to some people there: Water? What water?

I once read a Jewish proverb that goes like this: “The last thing a fish sees is the water.” Now really! Nor can the bird see the air they live in. but depriving them of it…then see how they flounder.

Don’t you know that we are like fish and birds much of our lives and only become aware of water and air, once we are deprived of them?

Perhaps this is Gods somewhat drastic way of revealing himself; out of consideration for our immaturity, he reveals himself negative. The truth is, we do not perceive His presence when all us going well, but we shudder when He us not there or falls silent.
[info]begotorr wrote:
Apr. 11th, 2011 05:23 am (UTC)
Super-Duper site! I am loving it!! Will come back again – taking your RSS feeds also, Thanks.

(Anonymous) wrote:
Jul. 12th, 2011 07:37 pm (UTC)
Are you going to update soon? I found your site to be intriguing. Best wishes!
[info]adolfhyqir wrote:
Nov. 2nd, 2011 01:09 am (UTC)
I’ve recently started a blog, the information you provide on this site has helped me tremendously. Thank you for all of your time & work.

( 12 comments — Leave a comment )